Monday, May 30, 2011

The Suck List

Reason #73 why is sucks to be divorced: Moving.

Four days, ten broken nails, one broken toe, 87 embarrassing bruises, heaps of trash, countless trips in and out and a good amount of sweat and tears later, we're moved in. The beds are put together, my kitchen is a disaster of random placement and inefficient use of (less) space, the TV is hanging beautifully - Thanks, Brian! - and most everything is in the room to which it belongs.

Sleep? Minimal. Nourishment? Mostly in the form of coffee and beer. The shakes? Oh yeah, I got 'em. Emotions? Fear, anxiety, excitement, disbelief, anticipation, defeat, pride, exhaustion. Headache? Like you wouldn't believe. Cordless drill? Must purchase...

I was so fortunate to have the help of my sister, brother-in-law, dad, Dara, Cameron, Grace and Derrick. Without them I'd be a messy puddle in the living room of my old life. With their help I was able to move the necessary goods into our new home and start the business of building a new life for my children.

When the last load hit the living room and the moving team departed, the reality of my situation came at me like a freight train. I was sitting, alone, in the living room - a tiny island in a sea of chaos. There was no husband coming along to carry the heavy boxes. No one to cuss the makers of IKEA furniture and then call to me to come check it out - the kids rooms are put together. No one to empty boxes and take the trash out and fall into bed with, exhausted, after a long but satisfying day of hard work. Would I trade the former for my future? Never. Not for anything.

So here I sit, exhausted and not a little overwhelmed but determined as ever. Determined to turn it around for Greyson, Tuesday and Fynn. Determined to make better choices this time around and demand better for myself and my family. I deserve it; I know this now. So give me your worst, IKEA. You're no match for my mechanical aptitude and dogged determination.

It sucks to get divorced and while I don't know what my future holds, I do know without a doubt that it doesn't suck.

1 comment:

  1. You go girl!! Sounds like you are on the right path!! Good luck with settling in. And you're right, you DO deserve all the happiness that your future holds! I'm proud of you for beginning this new journey!