Monday, May 2, 2011

Really, Mom?

I was sitting at the dining room table with my mom one afternoon during my last trip home. It was almost noon and I was still in my pajamas, braless and in need of some floss and a bit of face-time with my toothbrush and the shower. I absentmindedly scraped some dried-up goobers off my shoulder while spooning squash into Fynn's mouth.

"So, do any of your girlfriends have someone in mind that they think you should meet?" Mom asks innocently, almost as an afterthought. I stop short, squash landing in Fynn's lap, and look at her out of the corner of my eye. "Seriously?"
"Well, I was just wondering. I thought it would be nice for you to meet some new people."
"Right. Well, no one has mentioned anything to me. I'm not sure I'm not ready to date yet."
"Why not? You're a beautiful woman and you have a lot to offer. And you're so young!"
"Yeah, mom, what gorgeous, successful, mid-30's, never-married-no-kids guy wouldn't want a piece of this. Allllll this." I gesture around to Greyson and Tuesday, him shooting a nerf gun at her forehead and her stripping her clothes off and singing Naked Girl at the top of her lungs. Fynn has taken control of the spoon and is now smearing squash all over both of us. "Yeah, they're lining up around the block for a chance to get in on this mess."

My mom looks over to my gaggle of babes and laughs, as if picturing the hilarity of her statement for the first time. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Someday you'll be ready."

"Probably when they graduate."


  1. Hee hee- You are beautiful. :) Dried-up goobers or not. Glad to see you re-entered the blogging world. :)

  2. Yes, you are beautiful and you do have a lot to offer. You'll come around and realize it. It takes time. Thanks for the smiles tonight. I needed them!