I'm your biggest fan. You allow me the freedom to puchase, in the comfort of my own home and my third-day-in-a-row sweats, health and beauty products, household necessities and a host of other items that I don't need but would have no doubt purchased on a normal trip to Target anyway. Your prices are comparable to Target and about 15% higher than prices at Walmart. Most often, I choose you over either competitor and this is why:
*I can send in my manufacturer coupons (in postage-paid, return envelopes at that) so I don't miss out on any savings that I would be benefited from in-store.
*There is a delicious little link on the upper right-hand side of the site: Savings Center. A click of this link allows me to delight in the weekly specials at great discounts and with great e-coupons that amount to huge savings. Thank you, for giving Walmart some competition.
*Shipping is free at $39. You came out of the gates at $25 for free shipping and I have to say, that was a much better way to operate. I'm going to spend more than $40 nearly every time I go to a discount store but you lose my business for the smaller trips due to shipping costs.
*I put my order in on Friday and get it by Monday. I could kiss you for this. Really.
*I have yet to find a product that I need, that you don't offer.
*You have amazing prices on vitamins and supplements. My kids thank you as well, for the heaping handful of vitamins that I send their way each morning.
I love you, soap.com. You are easy to use and save me time and effort that I'd rather utilize elsewhere. Lower shipping costs and you'll be a perfect 10.
Love,
Leah
Friday, March 25, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
That's All She Wrote...
It started off with an icy look from my attorney. "You've got your kids," she remarked, her mouth twisted with disdain. "Yep, that's why I was hoping this could be done another day. I have no childcare on Tuesdays." She recovered from her initial shock and we made a bit of small talk - enough that she could scope out my kids and see that they are indeed, darling and for the most part, well-behaved.
We headed in to the courtroom shortly thereafter and took our seats. Courtrooms are large, quiet and imposing. Having never been in one before I've decided I don't need to see any more - I'm pretty sure they all look the same. G and T are supposed to be sitting quietly on the padded bench behind me, their hands folded neatly in laps, cherubic smiles all around. As it were, G has taken off his boots and is running up and down the bench. T is singing Twinkle, Twinkle - loudly - and neither of them has any sense of the intimidation that I was hoping would stun them into silence for the duration of the hearing. Lovely.
We stand as the Judge enters the courtroom and the hearing itself lasts for about seven minutes. During which time my children worm their way under the table and begin a rousing game of "No, that's MY mommy!" which leaves T screaming to beat hell until I make enough room for everyone on my lap. G then picks my nose while T pulls on my eyelashes. In the meantime, I'm trying to answer questions from my attorney and the judge and I'm cringing on the inside, just waiting to be yelled at. With luck on my side, the hearing is finished quickly.
At the end the judge commends me for not turning this into a "knock-down drag-out fight" and goes on to say how it speaks to my integrity that I have taken "the high road" and put the best interest of my children first. Thanks, I guess. He unceremoniously shuts off his microphone, stands and exits to his chambers. After a few kind words of encouragement from my attorney, I am alone with all three of my children. Now officially divorced, I look around the room. I feel like things should look, sound, smell... different. I see my reflection in a window and note that I don't look any different, nor do my children. I am stunned that seven minutes is all it takes to erase five years - a marriage, three pregnancies, deliveries and babies, laughter, tears, screaming and hateful words. All gone in a matter of minutes. Less time than it takes me to shower or fold a load of laundry.
Marriage is hard work and not for the faint of heart. Nor is it for adulterous, pathological liars with substance abuse and anger management issues - but that's for another day. No, marriage is not easy, but getting a divorce sure can be. Seven minutes is all it takes.
We headed in to the courtroom shortly thereafter and took our seats. Courtrooms are large, quiet and imposing. Having never been in one before I've decided I don't need to see any more - I'm pretty sure they all look the same. G and T are supposed to be sitting quietly on the padded bench behind me, their hands folded neatly in laps, cherubic smiles all around. As it were, G has taken off his boots and is running up and down the bench. T is singing Twinkle, Twinkle - loudly - and neither of them has any sense of the intimidation that I was hoping would stun them into silence for the duration of the hearing. Lovely.
We stand as the Judge enters the courtroom and the hearing itself lasts for about seven minutes. During which time my children worm their way under the table and begin a rousing game of "No, that's MY mommy!" which leaves T screaming to beat hell until I make enough room for everyone on my lap. G then picks my nose while T pulls on my eyelashes. In the meantime, I'm trying to answer questions from my attorney and the judge and I'm cringing on the inside, just waiting to be yelled at. With luck on my side, the hearing is finished quickly.
At the end the judge commends me for not turning this into a "knock-down drag-out fight" and goes on to say how it speaks to my integrity that I have taken "the high road" and put the best interest of my children first. Thanks, I guess. He unceremoniously shuts off his microphone, stands and exits to his chambers. After a few kind words of encouragement from my attorney, I am alone with all three of my children. Now officially divorced, I look around the room. I feel like things should look, sound, smell... different. I see my reflection in a window and note that I don't look any different, nor do my children. I am stunned that seven minutes is all it takes to erase five years - a marriage, three pregnancies, deliveries and babies, laughter, tears, screaming and hateful words. All gone in a matter of minutes. Less time than it takes me to shower or fold a load of laundry.
Marriage is hard work and not for the faint of heart. Nor is it for adulterous, pathological liars with substance abuse and anger management issues - but that's for another day. No, marriage is not easy, but getting a divorce sure can be. Seven minutes is all it takes.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Dear Covergirl,
I feel like I need to come clean to you, Covergirl; the guilt is eating me alive. I have been unfaithful, and with the most unsavory of brands... Yes, I cheated on you with Maybelline. I allowed myself to become blinded by the bright, shiny purple tube of blackest-black Volum' Express The Falsies mascara. I admit that my infidelity was selfish and unkind but I truly never meant to hurt you, Covergirl.
And now that I've come clean, I must report that I received zero satisfaction from my dabble with the dark side. The Falsies nearly had me needing falsies after use as at least one-third of my lashes fell out. Perhaps my punishment? That may be so and I feel properly shamed and humbled.
I have come back to the land where my lashes are long, thick and gorgeous. Thank you, Covergirl, for making the best mascara in the world. We've had our differences over the years but I can now say that you've made a believer out of me. No longer will I yearn to sample the wares of other mascara wands because I have found the promised land in my very black Professional Super Thick Lash mascara.
I love you, Covergirl. I'm so sorry.
And now that I've come clean, I must report that I received zero satisfaction from my dabble with the dark side. The Falsies nearly had me needing falsies after use as at least one-third of my lashes fell out. Perhaps my punishment? That may be so and I feel properly shamed and humbled.
I have come back to the land where my lashes are long, thick and gorgeous. Thank you, Covergirl, for making the best mascara in the world. We've had our differences over the years but I can now say that you've made a believer out of me. No longer will I yearn to sample the wares of other mascara wands because I have found the promised land in my very black Professional Super Thick Lash mascara.
I love you, Covergirl. I'm so sorry.
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