Wednesday, October 19, 2011


I'm going to a networking event in a few weeks and after I registered I realized that one of the men speaking at the event happens to be someone I was "matched" with online. I vaguely recall drooling over his pictures and fantasizing about our perfect future as a family of travelling foodies. And because I'm really, really bad at meeting men in general, let alone dating, I've blocked out what was certainly an embarrassing fail in the form of an online greeting that received no response. Awesome.

This event is important for my career and future and I really want to attend. But my pride (what little still remains) is almost certain to be completely shot afterwards. It would be good for me if he didn't recognize me, (or remember my terrible attempt to meet him online) and that's very possible, because I have a generic face. I'm not asking for pity, folks, I just have a really common face. Every single day at least one perfect stranger tells me I look familiar and they're sure they know me from somewhere. Every day. And if I had a nickel for every time someone waved furiously and wondered why I didn't wave back? Well, I'd probably have a couple of dollars by now. But back to the upcoming humiliation. It would be less embarassing if he didn't recognize or remember me. It would also reaffirm my deeply-rooted conviction that I am utterly forgettable. Although, that may serve me well in this case.

I could take another track and dream up ways that I could win him over in person. Perhaps I'll charm my way through the room and he'll seek me out and beg to buy me a drink after we discuss Very Important Things and network with lots of Very Important People. And if by some lightning strike of luck this were to actually happen, I'm pretty sure I'd have spinach in my teeth and I'd trip over the leg of a table after inadvertently offending a cause that he's dedicated his lifes' work to. Maybe I could even knock over a beautiful centerpiece full of glass marbles and hundreds of dollars of rare flowers while I'm at it. Oh, the possibilities are endless.

I'll be back with a full report in November. Because it wouldn't be fun if I took the safe road and just didn't attend. Plus, I already registered and you can bet your ass I'm going to get my mediocre hotel-fare lunch out of the deal. And who knows, maybe they'll have good pens in the swag. I really like a great pen.

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