Wednesday, September 14, 2011

So sue me...

Yeah, yeah, I've been absent for like a million years. Sue me. I can be counted on only for my unreliability, chronic lateness (although D says my lateness has not reached "annoyingly late" status yet, merely predictably late - so I guess I'm predictable if not reliable) and my charm and sharp wit. So stay tuned and you just might laugh 'til you pee.

I was at Walgreen's picking up some Sudaphed yesterday so as to minimize the chance of my left cheek and eye socket exploding and making a mess while I was at work. And it only took an hour, what with the DNA swab, blood sample and criminal background check. Thanks a heap, meth users; couldn't you have used something like Pepto Bismol? I never buy that shit.

While I was waiting to be frisked by the meth police, a brother and sister came back to the pharmacy, presumably to pick up something to do with the ginormous cast on his arm. Imagine my horror when he threw his arm around her and started to slurp on her lower lip while they waited. Seriously, there is NO WAY they weren't related. They looked IDENTICAL. Same nose, same eyes, same coloring. Opposites attract? Not so, with this couple. I went into full-on Inappropriate Stare state; I couldn't help myself, it was THAT disturbing. And if I'm being totally honest, I actually had to put on some lip gloss to keep my mouth busy so I couldn't ask them what the deal was with them lookin' all related and stuff. Creeeeeeeeepppppyyyyyy. Oh, and if you're wondering, yeah, I took my time getting out to my car so I could do a little more staring when they came out together. There was something not quite right about that pair. I wonder if their parent's know what they're up to?

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