Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Dear Santa,

Thanks so much for another wonderful Christmas! Greyson loves his Transformer and has only shot his eye out once with his Buzz Lightyear disc shooter. Tuesday is in love with her dress-up clothes and accessories and so far we've only had one casualty (a skirt) due to an insistence that she did not, in fact, have to go potty. And don't worry, she totally forgave the absence of a Girl Transformer under the tree. And between you and I, a girl transformer? Something you might want to think of in the future, but no hurry. Fynn is the happiest little bug and can really haul on his race car with the extra-loud Ready, Set, RAAAAAACCCCCEEEEEEE horn. All chaos aside, it really was a lovely Christmas and I'm sending the warmest of thanks your way.

Now that the season is over, for you anyway, I've been doing a little thinking. Being as you work so hard in the last quarter of the year, I'm sure you take a much-deserved vacation, probably even for the whole month of January. And really, I applaud that; if anyone deserves it, it's you, Big Guy. But I'm wondering, what do all of those formerly-busy little elves do? I mean, they've had a few days now to breathe and center themselves but I'd be willing to put a bet on boredom setting in right quick. I know I, for one, would just lose my mind if I had work, work, worked my way through the better part of a year and then had absolutely nothing to do, come December 26.

So that's where my itty bitty, teeny tiny little request comes in. You see, Santa, I didn't ask for anything this year, not a single thing. I've had a great year and I'm in a really great place; life is good, great even, and I'm not in need of anything. But after all was said and done, I realized that there is one little thing that I would like. We're heading home tomorrow after having been gone for two weeks, and prior to the two weeks I'd been convalescing in my home post-surgery with a host of familial caregivers coming and going. With all this upheaval in our normally well-regimented life, you might imagine the state of my typically spotless home. You guessed it: it's a pit and a half. An absolute disgusting mess of food particulate, dust, grime of unknown origin and untold amounts of grit and salt from the roads - although with the sad attempt at winter that we're in the midst of, I'm having a hard time finding a reason for all the de-icing materials.

Anyway, what I'm thinking is that with all those under-employed elves, you might be willing to spare one or five and hire them out to come and clean my house, Merry Maids-style. It'd be great if they could just swoop in this evening and tackle all the business that I'm not going to want to encounter when I arrive home tomorrow afternoon. I think 24 hours lead time should be sufficient. And I'm not asking for much, just a little vacuuming, dusting (don't forget the baseboards), sweeping/mopping, scouring of the bathrooms, a once-over of the kitchen and a quick glance at any windows with lick marks warranting a little wipe-down. Time left could be spent washing all the bedding and remaking the beds, tidying up any toys or clothes that aren't in their rightful place, cleaning out the fridge/freezer, opening the curtains and fluffing the pillows - you know, just make the place look nice and inviting. Oh, and if it wouldn't be too much trouble, I've got a mess of a storage shed that could really use some organizing. I think that should do it, but I'll let you know if I think of anything in the meantime.

Again, thanks for a really lovely Christmas. No one could do it as well as you, Mr. Claus; you were made to do this job. Warmest wishes for a great vacation - I hear Bora Bora is simply breathtaking, this time of year. I bet Mrs. Claus is a real looker in a two-piece!


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