The Writing Process: It's Not an Exact Science

I'm under a ton of pressure right now with heaps of small deadlines creeping towards me and stressing me out. But being the go-getter that I am, deadlines are no match for my mad multi-tasking skills. Here's an example of my typical writing process and how it unfolded today:

• Settle in with coffee and Shredded Wheat immediately in a.m. and bang out one project with ease.
• Congratulate self and take a break to watch Hoda & Kathie Lee on mute while cruising Facebook.
• Take a 45 minute shower without shaving so much as one underarm.
• Plan rest of workday while in shower.
• Practice putting hair into chic bun; end up looking a lot like O'Brien by the time bangs are dry.
• Pull out contents of veggie crisper (do people actually call it a crisper? 'cause at my house it's just a drawer) and neatly chop, slice, and dice everything so healthy snacks are at the ready.
• Eat an entire pound of roasted asparagus and a bowl full of cabbage for lunch.
• Regret lunch fare immediately.
• Lunch was too healthy; open a new jar of Nutella and go to town.
• Braid nearly dry hair; mess with it for another 20 minutes.
• Lovingly shine the leaves of plant in bedroom.
• Make list of work to be accomplished by 4 p.m. today.
• Tweeze errant upper-lip hair missed by waxer from hair appt two weeks ago.
• Go to the bathroom; curse asparagus.
• Do the dishes.
• Re-organize pile of important paperwork.
• Hang kids' artwork on doors in dining room.
• Marvel at creativity of my children.
• Re-start dryer; continue ignoring baskets of ready-to-be-folded clean clothes.
• Look out the windows, ponder outside temperature and consider checking mail - no dice.
• Wonder about cable guy who has been at neighbor's house three times today. Make that four times.
• Turn on Ellen. (did you know they're making a sequel to Finding Nemo?)
• Un-braid hair. Marvel at how long hair is getting.
• Realize it's 4:20 and the kids need to be picked up.
• Remember how much I hate John Mayer.
• Accomplish exactly zero items from to-do list.
• Day: shot. Will try harder tomorrow. Probably.